How Can We Change This?!?

Are you a man who is now afraid his actions and/or words might get you into trouble? Are you questioning your past actions? Do you even care what women are saying has been happening to them?

I’ve been mulling over what’s been happening in our country, specifically with regards to all the men being accused of sexual harassment or misconduct. A friend recently sent me a text message. She had a few observations and concerns about the recent spate of sexual harassment claims and wondered if it was a way to stifle public dissent and influence.

And it got me thinking.

I don’t think this is a witch hunt.

What I think is that the problem is much more widespread than most people would have ever imagined it could be.

I think that, as more victims speak out, more women are empowered to do the same. I also think that it’s more than just empowering the victims. I think its also about education and awareness.

For generations, women have had to fight for our place in this country. For generations, men have told us what we can and cant’t do, what we can and can’t wear, etc.

And for generations, we have been told what’s acceptable and what isn’t. If we were hit, smacked, groped, or subjected to any one of a variety of undesirable treatments, we bore our shame in private.

We were taught by our mothers and grandmothers to be quiet. That women were meant to handle all the things.

But it’s not just that we were (are) indoctrinated into a tribe that handled abusive situations with silence (shame).

There are a whole shit load more reasons. For example:

• Men have run things for so long and have self-policed their behavior. We’ve had an ‘old boys club’ mentality for generations. We’ve excused behaviors because it’s just boys being boys. And they got away with it. They’d slap each other on the back, guffaw, sip their scotch, and boast about their latest conquests.
• Society has viewed (and, to an extent, still does view) women as the weaker sex. We’re told that we need a man to take care of us. And that’s some bullshit right there. Because that mentality is just a short hop to the ‘I own her’ mentality. When you own something, you can do whatever the hell you want to it. You just have to keep it fed, right? Too many people (not just men) view women as living, breathing blowup dolls.
• It’s easy to exert power and control over someone when you have money and power. It’s easy to threaten. It’s easy to hurt. And it’s really fucking easy to ignore the protests of someone you believe is inferior.

The women who have spoken up about what happened to them have empowered others and increased awareness. It’s not a matter of jumping on a bandwagon. It’s a matter of realizing,

Hey, wait… You mean it’s not OK for someone to do that to me?

My friend also wondered about the political situation. And it’s the politics that really pisses me off.

It appears that it’s only those people who don’t support Trump (who aren’t Republicans) who are being accused and suffering the repercussions.

Donald Trump was elected despite widespread (and very credible) allegations of rape, sexual harassment, and sexual assault.

Alabama may just elect Roy Moore, despite numerous (and very credible) allegations of sexual harassment and sexual assault. With minors.

But I don’t think it can be boiled down to something as simple as pro or anti Trump, Republican or Democrat.

Let’s look at the situation in Hollywood. Hollywood, while being overwhelmingly liberal and, by default, Democrat, is it’s own separate beast. They seem to be doing a halfway decent job of appearing to care. Whether it’s purely because of money (boycotts hurt the wallet) or because of something else, people are losing their jobs.

Harvey Weinstein, Geoffrey Rush, Matt Lauer, Charlie Rose, Russell Simmons, Jeffrey Tambor, Louis C.K., Kevin Spacey, Danny Masterson, Bill Cosby, and Bill O’Reilly are just a fraction of the men in the entertainment industry who have been accused of some form of sexual misconduct. Almost all have lost jobs because of it.

When it comes to politics and politicians though… That’s tough.

These are people we’ve elected to represent us. They’re supposed to be stewards of the public. Instead, we get people like

• Anthony Weiner, a Democrat Representative who is currently spending time in prison for sending dick pics to a 15-year-old girl. This was years after he resigned from Congress for, yup, sending text messages with dick pics.
• Blake Farenthold, a Republican Representative from Texas who used $84,000 of taxpayer money to settle a sexual harassment complaint. This was the first documented case of taxpayer funds being used to settle a sexual harassment complaint against a member of Congress.
• Tim Murphy, a Republican Representative who resigned after it was revealed he had an affair. When the woman he was having the affair with became pregnant, Murphy asked her to have an abortion.
• John Conyers, a Democrat Representative from Michigan who resigned after allegation of sexual misconduct surfaced.

Are these politicians resigning because they really believe they did something wrong?

For the ones who have apologized, are their apologies sincere?

But what about the latest ones?

Donald Trump? Roy Moore? By continuing to support and endorse these men, the Republicans are complicit. So damned complicit in the whole damned thing. They don’t care that a 32-year-old man engaged in inappropriate sexual conduct with a 14-year-old girl.

Because they need his vote.

Remember, it’s easy to exert power and control over someone when you have money and power. It’s easy to threaten. It’s easy to hurt. And it’s really fucking easy to ignore the protests of someone you believe is inferior. These men believe that women are inferior. They don’t think they’ve done anything wrong. They don’t see a problem with their behavior.

How do we change that? Can we change that?

We can start by making sure they don’t get re-elected. We can start by not giving our money to them. Stop going to their movies. Stop buying their DVDs. Stop supporting them and stop normalizing their behavior.